Monday, October 15, 2007

minus 9 - single digits (yikes!)

Well this picture will wake you up in the mornin', eh?

I feel good today.

Pretty good, anyway. Good before I think about it. . . . Here's hoping that thinking about it doesn't change the feeling good! grin.

OK. It's a gorgeous day: so that's good. And it's on the cooler side: check, good. (at least as far as I'm concerned and - as I've had occasion to say several times this last month, anyway, right now it is "all about me - all the time", and when you're writing your dissertation and you're in the last weeks of turmoil, then it can be all about you! Deal? Deal. . . .)

But back to the "good" checklist:

Citations done through Chapter 4 - check, and good. This also enabled me to spend some time with the king, as the work was conducive to couch sitting and football monitoring at the same time. Very fun!

I like football. American football. With the funny-shaped ball. It's splendid background to wonderful foods, and friendly banter and comaraderie and working on a quilt or knitting something. . . . and it's chilly out and maybe we could start a fire in the fireplace. Love those days! So I was glad to get a little football in this week.

And I also got a bit home-made soup in: threw some together as comfort food for myself, as it looked ike the king was going to have to do a bit of the social-scene-mandatories on his own yesterday: kind of a command performance, but he decided to bail and stay at home with me. There are so many people who think we're slugs these days! Oh well. . . . . So we dined on our favorite artisanal baguettes, chipotle cheddar cheese, and a hearty steak, potato, mushroom, and assorted veggie stew, I guess I should call it. And that's what was missing! Garlic. I can't believe I forgot the garlic! Ach. . . . Well, it was still delicious. (and I knew I liked Nee when I read her comfort food recipe, here, which features - features? nay! stars - garlic! How could I forget the garlic?! sigh. . . .)

Some other 'good' stuff: A4 paper arrived from Ireland, I have been able to format my docs for the said paper, and the king has determined that the printer not only will admit to taking A4, but will cheerfully improve its printing quality to more than what's required for submission. So this first round I can print myself, looks like, rather than worry about internet file transmissions, trying to get everything onto/into one doc file for the printer in Ireland, and then actually trusting them to print and bind, sight unseen.

So I think this is very good.

Well, it's just after 10 and really time to be moving on the work at hand. Life has changed a bit the last week. I'm finding that it's easiest to work late at night. I don't worry about where the king is or when he's coming home, as he's upstairs in bed. So I don't keep looking out the window whenever I hear a car (and yeah-yeah, not too many cars late at night, either).

I've been trying to get at least 5 or 6 hours sleep (and you're talking to the sleep queen, here, so you need to read that with new eyes, to see the UTTER DEPRIVATION that ONLY 5 or 6 hours of sleep means to me!), and the king has not been waking me for our usual time in the mornings even when I ask him to. I feel a little bad about that. But we do get our time in the evenings over dinner and a glass of wine, so I imagine this might have to do for the next 9 days.

Because the fact of the matter is that I don't get that much done when he's home and rambling about. Or rather I should say that it's easier when he's not rambling about, but instead all tucked into bed. . . .

But this is much better than being off on my own, which actually is an option for me: lucky me! My parents have a little townhouse about a half mile from the beach which - now that it's cooled off - they won't go to quite as much. I had been trying to hole up there this summer, but what with weekend comings and goings, and my back-and-forthing's, it really got to be more of a hassle than a help. And these last few days have shown me how much I've come to depend on my husband, if only to run up to him for a hug and nuzzle.

This is new, you need to understand. I've only been married a little over 2 years and I was single for a good long time. . . . Really used to being on my own. I was actually worried that this 'togetherness' thing would wear on me!

Anyway: I just know how much harder this would have been all alone. I really don't know that I could have done it. The king, of course, just keeps saying: "Of course you would have. You're the queen!" in that very confident way he has.

All I can say is that I'm happy I didn't have to test this. It's been hard enough as it is.

So! I'm expecting an email from Magda at some point, re: the last chapter. Yes, that was bit of adrenaline fear I experienced, just saying it. At some point I think I still expect her to say that I might have a better future in parking enforcement. . . . (yes, I think I've mentioned that before. sorry. but it's true.)

And at some point I really must write the introduction and the conclusion. Talk about doing things backwards! Everyone says you write the conclusion first, then you write the papers, then you write the intro.

Not me. I wrote the paper. Now I'm trying to figure out what it says - and means, big-picture-wise - so I can set up an intro leading to the conclusion. Foolishness? Or faith? I guess the jury's out.

Don't tell anyone.

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