Friday, September 14, 2007

imaginary friends

I used to sing a cappella. Maybe I will again. Post-dissertation.

My singing mates at the time heard a lot about my "best" friend, M. They never saw her, though. One day one of the guys said: "I don't think M even exists. I think she's your imaginary friend" and he started talking with his index finger wiggling up and down next to his face, as if that were M - my imaginary friend.

They had a great time with M, my imaginary friend. Years later, one of the guys actually met M, and reported to the rest that she did - in fact - exist. Without face time, though, she was soon forgotten, and remained my imaginary friend, as far as the guys were concerned.

Funny thing: she eventually became more and more imaginary because we never saw each other. We didn't have the same interests. I didn't have to deal with it until I finally got married, when I had to decide whether to ask M - the official best friend - or C, the actual best friend to be my best maid.

Yesterday, online, there were several articles about how Facebook costs employers well over a hundred million dollars a day and the phenomenon of virtual friends - and whether they were real. Isn't it strange that we're right back where we started from in first grade? Wanting friends, and making them up, if necessary. I play my part here, posting my bit daily, and checking in on N, S, LA, C, J, M, A, V. . . and hoping to hear from them, too.

It's a way of coping, I guess. Still, I worry about the seduction of pseudo-relationships. They're a lot easier on my mind. After all, I'm in charge! Sort of. . . . But that's not how life goes. Certainly it's not how friendships go. Ah well. Back to Chapter 5.

Intermission over.


Lee Anne said...

About friends new and old, real and imaginary: I can so relate to this. My best woman was my best friend through college; after the wedding, our friendship slowly faded away. I check in on her blog daily just to see that she's okay (and she checks on mine), but it's a weird lurking kind of friendship that could one day stop altogether or be renewed. It's weird. My mother-in-law once said that some friendships are only for a season, and we should just be thankful for that time even when we outgrow some friendships to make room for new ones.

Best of luck on chapter five. I'm having enough family drama in Austin to keep me away from my dissertation. Thanks for your good wishes and your kind words on my blog. You really do understand the psychological hell-state of writing this damn thing.

prophet said...

you know what I read somewhere recently? There's a POST-dissertation stress syndrome AS WELL!!!

Man. What did we let ourselves in for?

As for 'kind words'. . . . my thanks also to you. . . .