no excuse

I just haven't felt much like writing.

A bit of the blah's, perhaps.

Today, however, I have an interview for a fellowship I applied for back in January. It turns out that "the" fellow has already been selected - the 'chair' of an ethics department who apparently is due for a sabbatical - but they are seeking funding for a second fellowship, which they said they hoped to be able to offer me. By today, they should know the status of the funding. . . .

I'm delighted to have gotten the interview! I can't tell you, however, how much I hope I also get the fellowship. In a way, it would feel like a clear nod to a more academic path. I don't aspire to tenured professorship. But a year's fellowship would be a great way to spend the year - continuing with my research into a slightly new direction while also pursuing publication of the dissertation. Not to mention finishing the construction of our house. And where is it, by the way, that Americans have somehow moved into thinking the building or other acquisition of a full-time residence is properly left to spare-time management?! Alright, alright. . . . I won't take that diversion. Although I will just say that one's full-time residence - being as it is the very fundamental requirement for shelter that it is (and I won't mention the other fundamental requirement of food - oops. I mentioned it) - maybe ought to occasion better than spare-time considerations. And by this, I do not mean selecting paint colours or decorating the foyer . . . .

But back to other questions of occupation - what occupies our time - what ought to occupy mine, anyway.

I am frustrated with the political process and the obscene amounts of money we seem willing to spend for so little in return. I don't really know what the candidates think, after all this, merely what they look like, as they say whatever seems most appropriate to the people listening at the moment. Then, they rehash what the other candidate said - supposedly inappropriate - to some other group, amidst calls for apologies or resignations of advisors or other camp-followers.

It's all very tedious.

Meanwhile, the stock market (by all reports) is hemorrhaging. Plus which, we're spending I don't want to think how much on operations in Iraq - so far, a largely thankless "investment", with no end in sight. It's hard not to think that perhaps we ought - each of us - to be responsible for our own neck of the woods. Democracy and 'freedom' is perhaps not a gift to be given, but instead a prize to be fought for and won.

Maybe that's the problem.

I'd better go bustle myself with the transformation from stay-at-home slug, to intellectual bon vivant and potential/promising fellowship recipient, however. That could take all morning. It's my way of trying to be responsible for my own neck of the woods, I guess. My way, of fighting for the prize.

Later, perhaps we'll talk about what I learned from taking on a legal case. A good thing I learned, believe it or not. But I just haven't wanted to write about much of anything. Good or bad.